Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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