Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
