He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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