Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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