video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
