I love black thongs
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
