Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
