oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
