So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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