I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
