my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
