But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
