really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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