You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
