ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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