its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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