I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
