I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
