Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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