This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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