my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
