Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
