I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
