Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize