I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
