I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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