Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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