Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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