I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
