I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I don't think brook has ever known best
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Randomize
