Buhtt sex?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
