I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
