All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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