you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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