some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
