didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
