I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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