We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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