If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
