im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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