I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You know, be my cock's hype man.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
