i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
