My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
