Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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