So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
