shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
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How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
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The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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