This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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