Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize