He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
