Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Let's get the cat blown out
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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