I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
