Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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