She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
