So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's rum buckets o'clock
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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