I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
