This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
