shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
