Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
What drink are we having for lunch?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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