Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.