Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?

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  (757): I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you? http://tfl.nu/hgrf
  Replies (16) Good night (5001) Bad night (801)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..

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  (206): My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury.. http://tfl.nu/rawt
  Replies (39) Good night (8131) Bad night (1218)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.

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  (201): Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision. http://tfl.nu/ohzv
  Replies (7) Good night (4515) Bad night (708)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"

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  (253): My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair" http://tfl.nu/zzcb
  Replies (209) Good night (1324) Bad night (18288)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.

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  (608): Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap. http://tfl.nu/9p7s
  Replies (8) Good night (3932) Bad night (919)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.

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  (410): It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand. http://tfl.nu/z8dm
  Replies (6) Good night (2070) Bad night (943)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single

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  (907): I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single http://tfl.nu/2snv
  Replies (3) Good night (463) Bad night (994)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.

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  (256): Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life. http://tfl.nu/8lve
  Replies (5) Good night (716) Bad night (328)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.

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  (361): Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/s5oa
  Replies (16) Good night (415) Bad night (818)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it

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  (832): I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it http://tfl.nu/3xki
  Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (582)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.

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  (317): Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life. http://tfl.nu/xt94
  Replies (1) Good night (806) Bad night (258)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level

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  (919): I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level http://tfl.nu/r2br
  Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (293)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH

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  (262): The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH http://tfl.nu/v3lg
  Replies (0) Good night (734) Bad night (275)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.

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  (406): I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved. http://tfl.nu/bdb2
  Replies (2) Good night (706) Bad night (299)
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  (577): View more from

  I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle

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  (577): I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle http://tfl.nu/eql8
  Replies (5) Good night (341) Bad night (529)

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