A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
