Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
