ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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