I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
