I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
