have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
