Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
