I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
