I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
